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posture of my heart

rigid, uptight, worried, tense
hiding crouched behind the fence
I built with my own two hands

with every heartbeat blood and doubt
swirl behind my angry shout
that I’m worth as much as any man

I am a hunchback, deep inside
failing even the misplaced pride
to which I hold myself

bent and bitter beneath the weight
I chase the urgent, what could wait
and place value high upon a shelf

to gather dust, while I am trying
to stand upright, and lying
all the while

that I am patient, I am pure
my heart is clean, I am secure
in wearing this smile

~summer 2011

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